In Islam, marriage is a cornerstone of social and religious life, governed by rules laid out in the Quran and exemplified by the actions of the Prophet Muhammad. However, a closer look at these teachings reveals a deeply patriarchal framework that often prioritizes male authority over women’s rights and emotional well-being. This post examines three key references—two hadiths and a Quranic verse—to explore how Islamic marriage practices can perpetuate inequality and distress for women.
The Quranic Verse on Marriage
The Quran provides explicit guidance on marriage in Surah An-Nisa (4:3):
Arabic:
وَإِنْ خِفْتُمْ أَلَّا تُقْسِطُوا۟ فِى ٱلْيَتَـٰمَىٰ فَٱنكِحُوا۟ مَا طَابَ لَكُم مِّنَ ٱلنِّسَآءِ مَثْنَىٰ وَثُلَـٰثَ وَرُبَـٰعَ ۖ فَإِنْ خِفْتُمْ أَلَّا تَعْدِلُوا۟ فَوَٰحِدَةً أَوْ مَا مَلَكَتْ أَيْمَـٰنُكُمْ ۚ ذَٰلِكَ أَدْنَىٰٓ أَلَّا تَعُولُوا۟ ٣English Translation:
“If you fear you might fail to give orphan women their rights, then marry other women of your choice—two, three, or four. But if you are afraid you will fail to maintain justice, then ˹content yourselves with˺ one or those ˹bondwomen˺ in your possession. This way you are less likely to commit injustice.”
(Quran 4:3)
This verse permits men to marry multple wives, with the condition that they maintain justice among them. If a man fears he cannot be just, he is instructed to limit himself to one wife or take “bondwomen” (slaves). The allowance for polygamy inherently positions men as decision-makers over multiple women’s lives, while the mention of bondwomen raises serious ethical questions about consent and equality. Critics might argue that this framework treats women as commodities rather than autonomous individuals, embedding a power imbalance into the institution of marriage.
The Prophet’s Multiple Marriages
The Prophet Muhammad’s own marital life further illustrates this polygamous precedent. According to Sahih al-Bukhari 284:
Arabic:
…وَلَهُ يَوْمَئِذٍ تِسْعُ نِسْوَةٍ.English Translation:
“… and he had nine wives at that time.”
(Sahih al-Bukhari 284)
This hadith confirms that the Prophet had nine wives simultaneously, a number exceeding the Quranic limit of four. While Islamic scholars often explain this as an exception for the Prophet—citing reasons like political alliances or support for widows—it sets a challenging example for ordinary Muslim men. The Quranic emphasis on justice among wives is difficult, if not impossible, for most to achieve. Critics might question whether this disparity creates a double standard, glorifying polygamy for the Prophet while leaving women in subsequent marriages vulnerable to neglect or unfair treatment.
The Hadith about ‘Ali’s Marriage
A striking example of the Prophet’s influence over marriage decisions appears in Sahih Muslim 2449a:
Arabic:
حَدَّثَنَا أَحْمَدُ بْنُ عَبْدِ اللَّهِ بْنِ يُونُسَ، وَقُتَيْبَةُ بْنُ سَعِيدٍ، كِلاَهُمَا عَنِ اللَّيْثِ بْنِ سَعْدٍ، قَالَ ابْنُ يُونُسَ حَدَّثَنَا لَيْثٌ، حَدَّثَنَا عَبْدُ اللَّهِ بْنُ عُبَيْدِ اللَّهِ بْنِ أَبِي مُلَيْكَةَ الْقُرَشِيُّ التَّيْمِيُّ، أَنَّهُ سَمِعَ رَسُولَ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم عَلَى الْمِنْبَرِ وَهُوَ يَقُولُ: “إِنَّ بَنِي هِشَامِ بْنِ الْمُغِيرَةِ اسْتَأْذَنُونِي أَنْ يُنْكِحُوا ابْنَتَهُمْ عَلِيَّ بْنَ أَبِي طَالِبٍ فَلاَ آذَنُ لَهُمْ ثُمَّ لاَ آذَنُ لَهُمْ ثُمَّ لاَ آذَنُ لَهُمْ إِلاَّ أَنْ يُحِبَّ ابْنُ أَبِي طَالِبٍ أَنْ يُطَلِّقَ ابْنَتِي وَيَنْكِحَ ابْنَتَهُمْ فَإِنَّمَا ابْنَتِي بَضْعَةٌ مِنِّي يَرِيبُنِي مَا رَابَهَا وَيُؤْذِينِي مَا آذَاهَا”English Translation:
“Miswar b. Makhramali reported that he heard Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) say, as he sat on the pulpit: The sons of Hisham b. Mughira have asked my permission to marry their daughter with ‘Ali b. Abi Talib (that refers to the daughter of Abu Jahl for whom ‘Ali had sent a proposal for marriage). But I would not allow them, I would not allow them, I would not allow them (and the only alternative possible is) that ‘Ali should divorce my daughter (and then marry their daughter), for my daughter is part of me. He who disturbs her in fact disturbs me and he who offends her offends me.”
(Sahih Muslim 2449a)
Here, the Prophet intervenes to prevent ‘Ali from taking a second wife unless he divorces the Prophet’s daughter, citing her emotional connection to him: “my daughter is part of me.” This protective stance inadvertently acknowledges the distress polygamy can cause women, as the Prophet implies his daughter would be disturbed by sharing her husband. Yet, this raises a contradiction: if polygamy is divinely sanctioned, why does the Prophet shield his own daughter from it? Critics might see this as evidence of favoritism or an admission that polygamy inherently risks injustice—undermining the Quranic claim that it can be practiced fairly.
Discussion: A Patriarchal System Unveiled
Together, these references expose a marriage system steeped in male dominance. The Quranic verse grants men unilateral authority to marry multiple women, including slaves, with little regard for women’s agency. The Prophet’s nine wives reinforce this model, suggesting that polygamy is not only permissible but exemplary—despite the practical impossibility of maintaining justice as mandated. Meanwhile, the hadith about ‘Ali reveals the emotional toll on women, with the Prophet’s intervention framing his daughter’s identity as an extension of himself rather than an independent person.
This patriarchal lens casts women as possessions—whether as multiple wives, bondwomen, or daughters whose marital fates hinge on male approval. The Quranic condition of justice rings hollow when even the Prophet expresses concern about polygamy’s impact, yet the practice persists as a sanctioned norm. In a modern context, such teachings clash with ideals of gender equality and individual autonomy, prompting questions about their relevance and morality today.